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Monday, July 26th, 2010. A position.

The Right Honourable Lynne Choona Featherstone
Member of Parliament for Hornsey and Wood Green
House of Commons 
London 
SW1A 0AA
Rt. Hon. Mrs Choona Featherstone,
I read your comments as junior minister at the Home Office as Parliamentary Under Secretary for Equalities, hailing Christina Hendricks, as an absolutely fabulous physical role model for girls.
Yes, yes, oh, yes! This is something that I have felt very strongly about for years, so I would like to apply for a position as a private secretary for The Government Equalities Office. I don’t come cheap, I’m afraid, but I have vast knowledge on red-haired buxoms, and being a Liberal MP you will agree that if you want the best you’ve got to pay. I shall require £700,000 and my own Aston Martin, but the Home Office probably recoup most of that when I start firing people, as I have a strict code and I abhor the way most civil servants look and dress. Let’s face it: We can’t afford to be sentimental. It’s time to cut costs and trim the fat if we’re to keep up with China.
I shall also be needing a secretary. You will be relieved to know that I don’t do blondes, merely redheads. If I turn up and it’s a blonde, heads will roll. I mean it.
When would be a good time to discuss a competitive salary and a pension with you? Flexible working hours would be needed, I fear, as I plan to conduct my duties from the Outer Hebrides, but I could come to the Houses of Parliament next week if that is convenient.
Let’s go nuclear!
Yours faithfully,
Ignacio Wenley Palacios
Posted on Monday, July 26, 2010 at 05:18PM by Registered Commenter[Ignacio Wenley Palacios] in , , | CommentsPost a Comment

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