Tryweryn: The story goes on.
This is the one you have all been waiting for, the biggest challenge yet for the Swimmers Club, well tough because Burger Boy is doing a full and complete report tactfully penned in his unique style unless he has already told everyone about it. However for fullness of fact (enable you to see a true account) and to carry on with the Swimmer series, read on.
The Tryweryn was our next step in swimming progression, a genuine grade 3-4 river running with a release of 9cumecs (read - lot of water and swimming opportunity). Burger Boy and I had booked onto a Intermediate paddler course with the idea being to take us up to the next level of paddling, we were the only Swimming Club members on this trip as River God was whooping it up at the British Championships and Jo ‘The Knees’ Hacking was shaving her legs (see last issue’s article by BB and you’ll know why) however Uncle Clive joined us to see if he could pick up any tips - from us. At this point let me just say well done to River God, one swim at Nottingham as well as 24th in the kayak and a fantastic 2nd in the open Canoe, pushing a GB team member into 3rd place. Back to the Tryweryn and the interesting stuff then, unfortunately Uncle Clive had enrolled into a different group than BB and I so he missed out on gaining lots of useful tips from us, but it must be said his coach probably passed some on to him, though we weren’t too sure if they were to do with kayaking, especially when he turned out in a sequined ballroom dress on the second day – ask him about it.
The group BB and I were in also had 2 members who we didn’t know but turned out to be fantastic company and great fun, Diana and Roger from Totnes CC.
It seemed that the Tryweryn had got advanced warning of our ‘paddling skills’ as at the initial get together we were asked how good our roll was? – why ask about sandwiches thought I, still it was Wales, and it was at this point that BB blurted out that I was president of the Swim Team, tactful as ever! And cue a sickening pallor descending over our coaches.
In a vain hope of teaching us something we were fixed up with a top class coach, a level 5 coach assessor, what a waste. What an amazing paddler he was, I could teach him nothing but he taught us lots as he put us through our paces, he even got BB into making eddies, sometimes without the need to hold onto the trees – oops I let that one slip.
Anyway the first day saw us absolutely shattered after progressing down the ‘graveyard’ with only one swim for BB and a roll for me, we had really done the business on some big water and were rightly pleased with ourselves. BB’s suggestion that I was getting too good and if I didn’t swim soon he would take the Swim Team Presidency off me was met with the derision it deserved, the cheek of him.
The second day had us starting above the ‘chipper’ doing more routines ready to move on down to the bigger sections. After a quick break when we were working the ‘graveyard section’, BB showed his true class with the best swim so far, a swim so damaging he again threatened to take the Swim Team presidency off me. BB swam down the ‘graveyard’ being dragged upside down in his boat unable to get his spray deck off. When he eventually got out his face was a mess, yes I know it is, but I mean with blood streaming from a cut above his eye.
Unfortunately that was the end of his day, but on the bright side it was now 3-1 coaching for us and we had someone to take pictures. We progressed down the ‘graveyard’ again and then ran the ‘ski slope’ a couple of times with me rolling up at the bottom of it before breaking for lunch. BB was all patched up by this time and had stopped crying and was ready to record what I must say was some pretty impressive paddling scenes on his new camera.
Our group was working its way down the bigger drops, running most of them a couple of times when we ran the drop under the stone bridge. Looking at BB’s video as I came down I was leaning back and not paddling hard enough which allowed me to do an impressive aerial pirouette to land upside down in some seriously rough water. A half hearted attempt at a roll and a couple of smacks on the head and I was out and swimming.
What a swim, I couldn’t get to the bank and whichever way I tried the water just pushed me the opposite way. Eventually after a fair battering I managed to get out just above the café wave with my boat getting caught at the café. BB’s video is available on special release and shows the swim until he can’t zoom any further and I go out of sight, we paced it afterwards at 177 yards. Job done and presidency retained in style.
When I was suitably calmed down and luckily with only a little bruising I dragged my boat back up to the bridge and we ran the rest of the river to the NRA Bridge with no further mishaps. What a fantastic experience it was, so good we’re going to do the same course again next year, although BB and my aches and pains suggest we may make it a one day event as two days is really tough.
Apart from pretending we knew what we were doing on the beginners 1star course the next trip out was the Burrs Paddle Festival, which was a little low key due to the poor water levels, with only a couple of swims on the day, but none for the swimming club members.
Just going back to the 1 star course, it is worth mentioning that Paul Wicks – Level 3 coach - managed to swim in the canal. From what I hear he was demonstrating forward paddling and it was so long since he last paddled that he caught an edge and toppled in, although I have heard he’s saying that he was pushed in when getting out of the boat. Make up your own mind on that one, but if you’ve seen him paddle then…!
Ahh Halton, a local venue at last to paddle. BB and I made our first pilgrimage to Halton at the crack of sparrow fart as I was working in the afternoon. We coped quite magnificently with the low water level and BB looked marvellous in his new helmet, he is looking more like a real paddler all the time.
By mid morning I was off to work just as the rest of the swim team arrived leaving Jo ‘The Knees’ and an unusually sober River God joining BB to keep him safe. Bugger me if BB didn’t manage to trash himself without me there, I really think he is becoming a ‘self harmer’, still as I wasn’t there I’ll not bore you with the true facts but ad-lib and make fun of the afflicted just like he would do to me.
BB’s demise came about when he was messing on the wave below the last groyne when he became distracted by a 1star paddler on the ‘Introduction course’ who was surfing alongside him pulling cheerios & banjos on the wave, poor BB gave up without a fight and forgot the first rule of winter paddling: “Try to keep the humany bit on top and the plasticy bit on the bottom” - next thing you know and up he came covered in blood with another scar to mar his grotesque features – no, not all of them just his face again, sadly he missed a swim opportunity and rolled up.
That’s it for now, next up for the Swim Team is Teesside, yippee see you there.
Bjorn Swimmer, crap but consistent.
Copyright © 2007 by Ribble Canoe Club.
May not be reproduced or redistributed without author’s permission. Originally posted in the November/December 2007 newsletter, on Ribble Canoe Club’ web site. Republished here with permission.
